Reality of Pleasures... (an excerp...I)

...I was standing by the window when I felt feathery caresses on my back... shocked and mesmerized I started to turn around and protest, a voice whispered softly and invitingly into my ear " Let me remain unseen, I wont hurt you. I am Lucille and I just want to please you." As if by cue my body submitted to her but still my mind was racing giving me warning signals that I know I should heed it, she was the one who visited me several nights ago. I know for a fact because of her sweet scent like the morning sea breeze embracing the blossoming roses.
...Suddenly hands were everywhere. Every inch of my body felt so naked, but the pleasure I was feeling was conquering and winning over my senses. Each caress and each kisses she imprints me were accompanied by sweet endearments I cannot understand. She was speaking yet I know her mouth was not uttering the words in ancient language like Latin. Ripples of pleasure escaped my body as I climaxed she left me alone and cold.
...

In my mind...

Like most people, I am enduring PAIN. Pain that are mere consequences of what I did, said and thought of. The least I can do is to accept and move on. Move on!!! easier said than done. Believe me I tried, or so I thought I did, but one thing's for sure I accomplished understanding what I really felt and thought whenever I enter the chamber of PAIN.

the pain in my heart constricts my morals and beliefs
ascending to my throat
it suffocates me truly

death will surely consume me
if this cant be stopped
hatred, disappointment, failures...
it's turning me into stone

wishing the pain would take leave of me
hoping to cease all my sufferings
even with a bitter ending